Why do people behave defensively

Why are you on the defensive?

Last update: June 10, 2016

Being on the defensive is a clear stance of self-protection, in anticipation of a danger or something that may harm us.

When we take on this role we change our entire body is on alert and speaks for us, because our body language reveals tension, rigidity and defensive posture.

also our non-verbal communication changes compared to other situations in which this attitude does not show. Our non-verbal language shows a more serious tone, a faster rate of speech, slight gestures of discomfort, displeasure, and even danger.

Without a doubt, even if we don't utter a single word, is our defensive attitude is a way of connecting with the world that is noticed and that changes us.

How do we defend ourselves?

Aside from body language and non-verbal communication, we also express ourselves in a certain way when we are on the defensive, that is, our words try to protect us from possible attack or danger and we may justify ourselves, attack or blame them.

In many cases it is our language of expression is inadequate and disrespectful, because we ourselves feel offended, uncomfortable, or upset about what happened or what we think will happen.

It is possible that we as a result of malaise, according to the motto "The best defense is a good attack", and without really good reasons Use attack, reproach, irony, sarcasm, or even hurtful remarks. We are pursuing the goal that this protects us and puts us in the same situation as the person from whom we have to protect ourselves.

With that we are far from protecting ourselves or feeling good because the defensive attitude puts us on alert and under tension, and makes us feel disturbed, annoyed or even angry.

Unconsciously, we think more about how we can defend ourselves against an attack, even though there wasn't one, than that we benefit from the situation, enjoy it or simply learn from it by observing and observing the people opposite Learn to assess personality.

In reality we are far from self-protection; the defensive posture harms us because every time we find ourselves in this posture, the discomfort is greater.

In reality, we are protecting ourselves from nothing, from anyone, if that is even possible; we rather remain unprotected, by showing the other person our feelings as well as our lack of strategies to effectively face the situation.

Why do we fall into defensiveness?

Without a doubt if we have one Maintaining a defensive stance because we feel defenseless, or, which is the same, because we don't feel strong and secure with ourselves. Therefore we have to protect ourselves, defend ourselves somehow and make our situation known.

How can we face these situations differently?

First you have to try to perceive external situations as objectively as possible, that is, without ascribing any danger to them based on trained thought patterns that would put us on the defensive.

It makes more sense to observe the situation first as a spectator before interpreting it, and thus we will not feel attacked. Because it is possible that there are other, less dire explanations for this situation and that our defensive stance is not challenged at all; it may be that it is simply not an attack at all.

In order to protect us it is undoubtedly necessary to work with and for our personal safety, and thus in an appropriate mannertaking care of our self-esteem and self-perception.

Knowing each other well, knowing exactly who we are, what we want in life and how we can achieve it, will be a strong hold that what is happening around us does not get too close to us. Because what happens is not necessarily an attack on us, but simply a different opinion than ours.

Provided we know exactly who we are and how to pursue our dreams, we don't have to go on the defensive because it makes us feel safe.